House Hunting

I often look at houses online just to see what is out there. Sunday morning I was bored and yet again looking at houses. There was this one house at $130,000 in Prairie Village that just looked amazing. When I got home I informed Linda (my dad's girlfriend who happens to be a Realtor) that I we wanted to see a house just for fun. Well, Ryan and I fell in love with the home, and it dawned on us that we could really buy a house if we wanted to.

We had always figured when Ryan's leases runs out in December that he and I would rent a home.  Ryan hated the idea of renting as he felt we would just be throwing all our money away. We research renting vs buying a home and found that a mortgage payment can be less than paying rent. Also, with owning a home we would get our money back when we sold it,  would be able to fix things ourselves, and remodel or paint the house if we wanted to.

The house we fell in love with was a scam and not really for sale. So now we are house hunting. It is hard as everyone has opinions on what we should and should not be looking for in a house, such as price, size, location. We know what we want, it may be different from what our families or friends would want in a house, but that's okay, it is our house.

So what do we want in a house:

1. Small so utility cost are low

2. Move in ready (Do not want a fixer upper)

3. In Prairie Village

4. 3 bedroom (master, office, guest room)

5. Either slab or full basement

6. Formal dinning room.

7. Fenced back yard.

8. Ranch Style

House we liked, but was a scam.

Save the Date?

Ryan and I sent out our save the dates on Monday. I didn't think much of it till I saw a tweet on a friends twitter, "Got another friends Save the Date, kind of depressing." It suddenly hit me that I am one of those girls. The girls who have everything (aka a guy) and flaunts it in front of her single friends.

I still remember 3 years ago I was about to attend another friends wedding and wondered if my day would ever come. It seemed as though all my friends had boyfriends and I was the only single girl. I would watch as more and more got taken off the market and I would be alone on Fridays having nothing to do. I started going out more and making new friends. I would always say something like "I never want to have a guy to take me away from this" or "I am too busy for someone, I just need my school and friends." Truth was I was so lonely I tried to deny it, and watching my friends me happy just made it worse.

I have noticed in the last year more and more people becoming engaged on facebook. We have hit the age when we start to get married. I can only imagine how many save the dates some people must get, and to be single and watching everyone move on must suck. I would think it sucks. Hell, I do think it sucks. I still feel that pain and I am almost ashamed to be part of it.

But what I am to do? Do I cancel my wedding? Do I give up my happiness for others? Normally I would say yes, but in a year or two no one will care if I got married or not. They are not upset at the fact that I am  getting married just that they feel alone. I wish they didn't feel alone, but I can not change that.

Funny thing about this is, none of my friends are engaged. Besides myself I do not know anyone getting married. I feel alone. I feel like everyone else is either in the fun single stage of life or they have just begun to date someone. I feel like the weirdo, the odd ball. Some people feel weird for being single, I feel weird for being engaged. I just wish that I knew more people getting married. I wish I was not alone in this boat.

When did I become one of *THOSE* girls. I mean look even one of my ads is about weddings.

Growing Up

I am growing up. In the next year I will marry the guy of my dreams, buy a home, graduate with my masters, and live the grown up life. It is easy to sumize that I am freaking out. I feel like only yesterday I was 18 and hanging out in the basement of my friends house making silly movies and making up dances. Now I am buying a house. What happened?

Highschool

Growing up is a normal step in life, but one that I am not sure I am ready to take. Am I ready to give up my youth and become an adult? Do I have to? When did this all happen?

The other day Ryan, Lisa, and I were out shopping at Kohls. It was tax free weekend so many students were there getting their back to school clothing. I couldn't help but notice some boys in the store. They were wearing skinny jeans that were still falling off their asses, purple air jordans, and then tight muscle shirts. My only thought was "what are kids wearing these days?" When did they become kids and I become the adult. When did it become creepy for me to take a second look at the highschool cross country team running down ward parkway?

OK, so maybe I am not *THAT* grown up.

I wish I could stay young forever. I wish I knew was to keep my youth and act young for longer. I wish I didn't have to grow up.